Thursday, August 26, 2010
I need to have a #1 album, pronto.
I don't ask for much. All I want is to have the #1 album in America. Is that asking too much? Hell no! I've played bass in this damn band for 13 years, and I think that asking for ONE DAMN WEEK at the top of the DAMN BILLBOARD CHARTS is not too much to ask! If we got to #1 on the charts just for one week, it would mean a whole lot of things. First of all, we'd get to spend every hour of our day WRITING SONGS and be able to put out TWO ALBUMS PER YEAR. We have the ability to write FOUR ALBUMS PER YEAR but that might be pushing it. But yeah, we could easily put out a couple albums per year, and isn't that what bands should be doing anyway? Why do all these damn bands that get all huge and have millions of dollars not put out more music? Why do they wait years between albums? I think that's a bunch of C#$%!!!! (crap)
I suppose that I've never cared too much about being the biggest band ever, I've just always wanted to be able to continue making music and hopefully reach more people with each album. But F#$% that!!! I think its time that everyone burns our albums for 20 of their friends and insists that if they listen to Punchline, they'll be instantly more HANDSOME and/or GORGEOUS! With that kind of word of mouth and false/possibly true promise, there is NOTHING STOPPING our album from being #1!
Okay, so our album debuted at #41 on the Billboard "Heatseekers" Chart, but I don't even know what the heck that means. i am very appreciative that many people bought it, don't get me wrong. But seriously, we need to sell 1 million of these so that we can put out more albums and, of course, I can get ON TV and possibly GET MY OWN DAMN TV SHOW.
You wanna help us keep being a DAMN BAND for another 13 years? Well we need to get this dang album to #1. Here are some things you could do to help if you feel like it, which I really hope you feel like it.
1) You can go on all your friends Facebook pages and post a link to our Purevolume page (www.purevolume.com/punchline) and insist that they go download "21 Forever" on there. Tell them that there are also a whole bunch of other songs they can listen to as well.
2) We need to get on the DANG RADIO, and the perfect place to start is in our hometown of Pittsburgh. That means that all of you should call and request "21 Forever" on our hometown rock radio station, The X. The number is 412 - 333 - WXDX. Just call and request it. 10 times a day. And tell everyone else to do it too! Maybe if enough people call, they will play a Pittsburgh band who has been around for a long time instead of ALICE IN CHAINS. Who is calling and requesting Alice In Chains?
3) We don't have millions of dollars like a lot of these "sexy" bands do, so we rely purely on WORD OF MOUTH to get the word out there about our dang band. Tell everyone you know, and play Delightfully Pleased for them! Burn them a copy of the CD, but insist that owning the actual album is way cooler. Tell them its also on iTunes and available in stores like The Exchange and Hot Topic. Also let them know that we're a real band.
4) Let ALTERNATIVE PRESS know that you like Delightfully Pleased! You can do that by going here: http://altpress.com/ap_readers_chart/ . Tell them that you're feeling us. Tell them that you like our songs and that you think I should be on TV.
5) Leave us some DANG REVIEWS on iTunes! Just go to Delightfully Pleased and leave a review. I like reading them. Everyone is so dang nice. It'll build my confidence to try to GET TO #1 ON AMERICA'S BILLBOARD CHARTS.
We'll have some new dang music videos pretty soon. Hopefully they'll play them on TV, like maybe on Fox right after The Cleveland Show, or maybe on halftime of Monday Night Football.
I hope you all like me. But in all seriousness, please help my band make ten more albums because I love playing bass on them.