Today I decided that I want to run for Mayor of the town I live in. That's right, I am going to run for Mayor of Belle Vernon, Pennsylvania. I was driving from Pensacola to Jacksonville today and it just came to me that I would be a GREAT Mayor. Picture this: me dressed in one of the finest Italian tuxedos, complete with cumberbund and top hat (a monocle is also a possible accessory). Now picture me standing on a fire truck, leading a parade right down Broad Avenue. I'd have pockets FILLED TO THE BRIM with delicious candy for all the kids lined up on the street to see the parade. Its a wonderful thought that has me inspired to run one of the hardest campaigns, maybe of all-time.
I just laughed to myself thinking about my opponent in the election reading that first paragraph and using it against me.
I'm really taking this seriously and I was thinking about what a great experience running for Mayor could be. I'd definitely be able to run a great campaign. Thinking about making commercials alone gets me very excited. I also think that we could have some KICKASS rock n' roll fundraisers. I honestly do think that I could do a great job as Mayor. Here are some of my initial ideas for Belle Vernon:
- Obviously I think BV needs a movie theater. Everyone in town has to drive at least half an hour to go see a movie, and I think that having a movie theater would bring people from all over the Mon-Valley, just like Wal-Marts does. It would also create more jobs for people in the Valley. I would do everything in my power to make this happen, although I have no idea if a Mayor has anything to do with this. That's beside the point though, because I will be a very special Mayor who could make the impossible possible.
- I think I'd like to get funding to get Graham Street Park fixed up really nice. Last time I checked, there wasn't even nets in the basketball hoops anymore. That's completely unacceptable. I think that Graham Street Park could be one of the nation's finest parks with a little work. I would like to get funding for a security officer for the park to keep it safe for all the kids. I'd also like to get a stage built there for outdoor events and concerts that could help with funding for upkeep with the park.
- I'd like to do everything in my power to create more things for younger people to do in the community. The Mon-Valley, and Belle Vernon in specific, has had a major problem in recent years with young people and drugs. Many people turn to hard recreational drugs as an escape from the monotony and boredom of life in a small town. I think having a center where concerts could be help and clubs could meet would be very beneficial to cutting down on drug problems in our area. I'd like to help create more clubs for people to join, even if they are for a very specific thing. How about a canoeing club? Or an arm wrestling league? Maybe a Nintendo Wii organization? These all seem like silly examples, but if 10 people are into anything, there's no reason that they shouldn't have a place to meet and have the whole community have the chance to be a part of.
- I would personally take care of all disputes between neighbors in the community. I would like to be like "The Wolf" in Pulp FIction for all of Belle Vernon. If there are any arguments about zoning, or neighbors getting mad about someone planting a tree that hangs over their property, I would be great at resolving the issue. I have had to deal with compromise with my occupation for over 12 years, I feel like I have become quite an expert at it.
- I want to have MANY COMMUNITY DINNERS to benefit the less fortunate. I'm really good at making burgers now, and I'd love to have a big HAMBURGER DINNER to benefit the less fortunate. Obviously we'd also get some great entertainment...maybe I'd even try to get the TUMBLE MONKEYS from the Lion King show at Disney World to come in for it. Obviously we could raise enough money to feed all the hungry people in the Valley. That would make me feel good about the community.
- I have travelled all over the United States, Canada, Japan, and the United Kingdom over the past 12 years. I have seen the best and worst cities in the world. I know what makes for a great city, and although I think that BV is a very good city, I do think that improvements can be made. There are a lot of things about being Mayor that I will have to learn as I go along, but I think that I can handle it.
- Steve Soboslai will be running as my Vice-Mayor. I also appointed him my campaign manager.
My Mom was very against me running for Mayor, but I convinced her by asking her how I was supposed to run for President if I don't start somewhere! Obviously I want to be President, it has always been my main goal. This will be a good start. I think I will have a good chance to win if I can inspire young people to get out there and vote for Mayor. I doubt anyone under the age of 60 really bothers to go out and vote for Mayor, but I want to make it happen. I want to inspire people to go out and practice democracy in its most pure form!
Keep my tuxedo/parade dreams alive! I'll throw out CARAMEL CREAMS!!!!
Fafali-YES! in 2009